Brave New World
Some members of the
Rutgers-Newark chapter of the Federalist Society propose the creation of a Vegetable
Rights Clinic. Certain members of our faculty, particularly, Gary Francione of The
Animal Rights Clinic, have promoted a speciesist philosophy that animals deserve
preferential treatment over plants. To combat this disturbing practice, the
Federalist Society is calling on the community to adopt a strict form of
carnivorism. We hope our efforts will correct the blatant discrimination Francione
has perpetuated against vegetables by promoting his veganism.
NEWSFLASH!
In a stunning memo released yesterday, the Career Services Office has
decided on a radical restructuring which includes the implementation of service protocols
for the On-Campus Interviewing Process (OCI). Included in these protocols are
assurances that:
• Students will be given more than ten hours notice in order to submit resumes to an
employer who will be interviewing!
• Students will be notified of interviews they have been granted before the actual
day of the interview!
STAY TUNED FOR MORE
INCREDIBLE ANNOUNCEMENTS!!! |
